Brittany Meeker (00:02)

Welcome to today's episode of Hormone Harmony podcast, where we empower you to live your best life. I am your host, Brittany, nurse practitioner on the Thrivelab platform. And I could not be more than excited about today's conversation. We have Susan Bratton with us. She is a sexpert, CEO, author, and co-founder of Personal Life Media and The20. Susan, you've become a trusted authority on topics like intimacy and communication and longevity. I know our listeners and myself are so eager to hear from you, especially when it comes to navigating sexual health and relationships as we age. Could you please start by sharing your journey and what inspired you to become a voice in this amazing space?

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Susan Bratton (00:56)

Hi, Brittany. It's so great to be here with you today and thank you for doing this good work in the world helping women get hormone replacement therapy. I cannot tell you what a major proponent I am. You know, in addition to being a sex expert, I talk a lot about sex span, which is that when you have long and pleasurable intimacy throughout your life, you actually live a longer, happier, healthier life. There are global studies that show that the benefits of great sex make you look younger than your peers, make you happier and more well adjusted than your peers, and they actually extend not just your lifespan, but your health span. So I love sex span. And I think that really in some ways there are two fundamentals, foundations of long-term sexual health that men and women both, so women often we’re Dr. Mom. We have to take care of and make our husbands take care of themselves too. And there are two things that are, I think, really really important that I want to get into but hormones is definitely one of them and I think that if I could not do any other things in my life, if I had to get rid of everything and I could keep one thing, it would be my HRT. The second thing would be my workouts doing I like to do strength training and interval training and things like that. Those two things really keep me not only healthy generally, but having great sex. But there's one other ingredient, one other missing thing that for a lot of women, they think my hormones are messed up. That's what screwed up my libido. And sometimes, that is, that's a part of it, of course, but it's not all of it. So I do wanna talk about that. But I am a sexpert and what I do is I write passionate lovemaking techniques, bedroom communication skills. I create ideas for erotic adventures for couples to keep their sex life getting better and better and better as they age instead of swirling down the toilet like all their friends.

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And all of that sits on a seat of intimate wellness information. Because if your parts don't work, how are you gonna have pleasure? So you really start, if you think about it like a stack, the bottom is your health. If you don't have that, you don't have a good libido, you don't have good sexual function, things are painful, you've got incontinence, loss of lubrication, loss of sensation, difficulty orgasming, genital atrophy, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, all those things. And they're all reversible, which is great.

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The second thing is communication. If you can't know what you want and really feel into that, feel comfortable asking your partner for it, communicating your needs, your desires, and how they change in every moment. I could write all the techniques in the world and they wouldn't be any good. But once you get to those two things and you start learning pleasuring skills and the fun things you can learn together about sexuality, it literally never ends. Like if sex was a brand, sex's tagline would be “Sex: There's always something more” because you can spend a hundred years on this planet exploring pleasure and connection and not run out of new things to try. I've been doing it for decades and I still have tons of ideas for things I want to do. So that's who I am, what I do. I teach these techniques. I teach them through books and programs, videos and audios and my newsletters and all those kinds of things. And those are the things that I talk about. So I'm not a therapist. I'm not sitting in an office with someone. What I'm really doing is I'm a very kind of mass market person where my sweet spot is a pair bonded female male couple in a long-term monogamous relationship or the desire to be in one, the desire to be in one and someone who wants to and is fueled by their sex life and knows that if they learn things they can make it better.

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Brittany Meeker (05:33)

That's amazing. I mean, obviously it's a lot of depth than just, you know, sex, right? There's a lot of layers there. And I want to dive into a question. I mean, even on the clinical side, I hear from so many women, you know, what can I do to combat the loss of desire and libido? And that often accompanies menopause and other hormone fluctuations. But I'm curious, I mean, what's your feedback on techniques with emotional intimacy and connection with partners and stress management and things like that?

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Susan Bratton (06:05)

Yeah, wouldn't it be so nice if we could actually tease apart how much is physical and how much is just really bad sex our whole life? Because the issue in reality is that we live in a society that is sexually repressed, that there's a lot of shame. There's a lot of repression. There's a lot of, you know, seeing perfect filtered airbrushed women and thinking we're not enough. And then all of the media we see, it's exacerbated by pornography, is male-oriented sex. And so we literally go through our lives thinking we're broken because we don't have the sexual response, arousal response of our male-bodied partner. So they're ready to go and we're not, and we think it's us because neither partner has ever seen what female-led pleasure looks like. So part of it is, that we've never really had, even if we think, that was great, that was great sex, it is probably like kindergarten, first grade level situation. And you're thinking that's great when you could get your PhD in it and there's still so much more to learn.

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So I think that a part of it is definitely physical. And this is the way I like to describe it. If you think about a Venn diagram, three interlocking circles, kind of like the Olympic logo, but three circles, that's your standard Venn diagram we learn about in high school. And those three interlocking circles are libido, desire, and arousal. Well, think about libido as being your physical desire. Are you able to get lubricated? Can you get turned on? Do you get aroused? Are you healthy? Or are you dealing with vaginal dryness? Are you dealing with painful sex? Are you dealing with never quite being able to get to orgasm or struggling with orgasm or wanting and knowing there's more and you're not sure how to get there? That is the body and that's libido. When you're healthy, you tend to have a sex drive. When you're unhealthy, it tends to be diminished. And so the natural diminishment of hormones, of nitric oxide production, of cellular biogenesis, of mitochondrial function, adding in ultra-processed foods, toxins, environmental, skin care, you name it. Pile on the stress of today's modern world. That impacts our sleep because of the cortisol. Dealing with our jobs, our kids, our partners, our parents. mean, who could even be having robust libidos in this environment, right? So there's that. That's the physical. Then there's the emotional, the spirit body, which is how do I feel about myself? Am I walking around with a core wound of not being enough, of being unlovable, of being unattractive, of do I have body image issues? Do I feel embarrassed about how I look? To repression, trauma, you know, did my parents ever make sex a natural thing for me? Do I know the names of all my ladyparts? Do I, you know, feel sexually confident or do I have performance anxiety? How do I feel about my partner? Has my partner let themselves go? Are they pissing me off outside the bedroom? You know, I mean, these are all things that you have to deal with when you think about your sexuality. And then the third part is the arousal. And this is where I honestly feel like women have a pretty good sense of their health and they have a pretty good sense of their emotional body. But the thing that everyone is blind to because it's not taught, is that we think there's something wrong with us because we don't have sexual response like our male-bodied partners do. So we think we're wrong because everything out there shows it like how men get turned on. And how women get turned on is very different. If you think about arousal, turn on, feeling sexy. Men, if they're healthy, they have tons of nighttime erections. You know they're going hard and soft all night long. As a matter of fact, when a man has ED, a urologist will give him Viagra, Levitra, Cialis to take at night, a microdose at night, just to literally get the penis to start getting hard, to exercise it because it gets atrophied when it doesn't start filling with blood frequently. He'll wake up with a morning erection. He would love nothing more than for you to hop on him, have your way with him, and then make him breakfast so he could go on his way like that's- that's a dude's perfect morning right there. He's got something called fast acting hemodynamics. You probably learned about that in medical school. That blood flow is quick down the tubes of the penis. Now you meander over to the ladies part of the world. Oh and by the way, his testosterone dominance makes him horny all the time and it makes him single-minded and focused. So then you've got us, the female gender. We're estrogen dominant. Estrogen makes us be able to multitask. We can keep our eyes and ears on a million things simultaneously. We are the ultimate jugglers. And the reason that we are is that estrogen makes us really good at multitasking because what it's doing is it's actually our reticular activation system constantly scanning the horizon for danger because we are the prey, not the predator, in the kingdom. And it makes us worried. It makes us judgy. We have to have judgy, judgment to keep ourselves safe. We have to go, is this friend or foe? Do we like this or not? That gives us body image issues because we look at ourselves and we go, my boobs are saggy. My thighs are fat. My ass is saggy. I hate the cellulite. My belly's disgusting. And then we've got this whole laundry list of things we don't like about ourselves because we are looking for imperfections as the mechanism of safety and we can barely help ourselves. We just see that stuff. Where testosterone, testosterone just has rose colored goggles. It just sees squishy things it wants to play with. It doesn't look at that and go cellulite, saggy butt, it's like, ooh, yum, yum, I wanna squeeze all that. So, you know, we're our own worst enemies in that way and we have a hard time calming down and getting into our body and out of our head and staying out of our head to surrender to our pleasure. 

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Add to that the fact that though our penis, and let me show you, I've got a little banana here for my demonstration.This is our, you know, this is our partner's penis. Half of it sticks out of his body and half of it goes in and down toward his testicles. It's twice as big as what he sees when he looks down. It's full of erectile tissue. So it's literally almost completely erectile tissue. There's some capillaries and there's some blood supply and there's some nerve fibers, but it's basically, and there's a urethral tube that his semen and his urine exit his body. But basically he's got this giant wad of erectile tissue and it goes boink and he's ready to go.

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Well, we have literally the same amount of erectile tissue, only it is in and my, I think my play-doh is getting a little dry. I need to get some new play-doh. I'm making it into a little circle that's kind of like a point at the top. This little circle or teardrop, that's our erectile tissue and it surrounds our G spot, urethral sponge, vaginal cavern. And it needs to be filled with blood as well. But the problem is, that it has all these nooks and crannies. And those nooks and crannies, let me show you some pictures of some genital anatomy. Here's the three erectile tissue chambers, one corpus spongiosum, two corpus cavernosum, and they take up the whole penis and they fill with blood and they get erect and they hold the penis erect. That, all that spongy tissue is inside our vulva and here's what it looks like. Here's the vulva, the outside, the face of our genital structures, the mons, the outer labia, the inner labia, the clitoral hood, the clitoral shaft that goes in into the pubic bone, the clitoral tip or glands, the vestibule right here, the inside of the inner labia. When you open it, it's called the vestibule. That's the urethral exit where your pee pee comes out and your female ejaculatory fluids come out. And here is your vaginal sphincter, your introidal sphincter, the opening to your vaginal cavern, your perineum, your anus, your rectum, etc. And so you've got this as the outside. If I peeled off the skin, this is right underneath. This is what's under there. Look at that. Those are the same three erectile tissue structures in a penis but they're in all these funny little nooks and crannies. This is the vaginal cavern here, this is the g-spot, it's not a spot it's a sponge that surrounds our urethra which is where our pee pee and our ejaculate come out, here's the tip of the clitoris, the glands, the shaft, so this is our little lady boner here, these are the arms or corora, this is essentially his corpus cavernosum, corpus spongiosum, and this is the vestibular bulbs, these little punching bags that drape down on each side of the vagina. And then down here is the perineal sponge. One sponge, two sponge, three sponge. We've got three sponges as well, but they're wrapped around our vagina. And when you have to get blood flow into them, it doesn't rush in, it seeps in. He looks at us, gets turned on, gets an almost instantaneous erection if he's healthy. We look at him and go, I'm still thinking about 12,000 things and I'm worried about how my butt looks, right? And so we're still in our fight, flight, feed, stress situation. And we can't get the blood down to our pelvic bowl to seep into that tissue until we… relax. And if all we're doing is focusing on giving him sex to get it done, to check it off our list, we never even get to the relaxation. So we're having what is essentially flaccid intercourse, because again, our society says what is sex? Sex is intercourse. Everything else is foreplay. So that's just an appetizer. So we hurry through that to get to the main meal, because that's what we're supposed to do. That's the goal. That does a disservice to us because we never get all of the stimulation that we need and the relaxation that we need to begin to take the steps up that arousal ladder. When we think we need to slow down and give ourselves 20 minutes of foreplay, a lot of women say to me, I don't have 20 minutes, 20 minutes, I need to be done in 20 minutes, I need to go to bed, I need put the kids to bed, I need to do this, I need to do that, I need to scroll some Instagram. And that is the problem is that if we make it very hard on ourselves to relax enough to ever even achieve that engorgement.

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And why do I keep talking about blood flow? Why do I keep talking about engorgement, lady boners, clitoral erections, filling all of that tissue up? Your biggest sex organ is your brain. And the reason that your biggest sex organ is your brain is that when you get the blood flowing into that tissue and it fills up with blood, it expands, it has more surface area. And when it's touched and stimulated, it can literally have more signal capacity of pleasure going to the brain. So it's numb because it doesn't have any blood flow, so it doesn't have any sensation, so it can't tell your brain it feels good. In addition to that, as our estrogen declines and our tissues shrink, we get vaginal atrophy. The labia shrink, the clitoris shrinks, and when it shrinks, so you've got loss of nitric oxide. By the time you're 50, you have half the nitric oxide production you had when you were 20. So you can't get the blood flow in there. You're pushing yourself too hard. You're not relaxed. You don't get the kind of stimulation and let's just call it foreplay, even though it's really all sex for us. And we don't get that and then we can't feel enough and then there's another thing that happens with women.

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You touch different parts of our vulva and we would say to you, I don't feel anything, it's numb. I don't feel anything. I feel ashamed when you touch me there. I've been told that's not, you know, that's off limits. I don't wanna be touched there. Or someone touched me there wrong and I don't like it anymore. Or I feel pain, that hurts when you touch me there, it hurts. And so the pleasure zones tend to be tiny and then they don't get much blood flow because we're not producing nitric oxide to squeeze the blood down there. We're rushing ourselves. We're nervous. We have performance anxiety. We're in our heads, not our bodies. We're not heart connected. And so we've got all these things working against us. So how do you turn it all around? What's the answer? I wanna have good sex. I wanna feel pleasure. Susan, what should I do? Tell me what to do. I'll do it. I'll give it a try. I see where you're going with this.

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So the first thing is you gotta give yourself some time to get aroused and it's going to take 20 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes if you're stressed out or it's been a long time since you've had love making that was pleasurable and orgasmic. And that's another thing. All orgasms are learned skills. You might have found a pathway or two. There are endless pathways to orgasm. And there's lots of different kinds of orgasms. I've categorized orgasms and there's over 20 locations to touch, techniques to use, objects of desire that stimulate orgasmic response. Every woman can orgasm in 20 or more different ways simply by learning how to do it. Learning how to have orgasm. We don't naturally know. We might get lucky and figure one out. But that's just the tip of the iceberg, just like the clitoris, the tip of the clitoris is just the tip of the pleasure zone. It's all that buried pleasure we need to really focus on. So you have to reframe almost all your thinking about sex. Okay, so I need to eat more leafy green vegetables, or I'll take nitric oxide supplementation to top my nitric oxide stores up. I do my hormone replacement therapy. I take oral estrogen, bi-est, estriol and estradiol. I put estrogen serums on my vulvar complex so that it stimulates the tissue density. I maybe use RedLight intravaginally. I've got a really nice vagina device here I'll show you and you guys should probably have these in your clinic if you don't. Do you have these in your clinic?

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Brittany Meeker (22:39)

We don't, but I say that we definitely need to look into that. That's fascinating.

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Susan Bratton (22:44)

Yeah, this is fantastic. So this is called the Vagina Device. You can get it at vaginadevice.com. And it uses three modes. This is something you put inside your vagina every other day, eight to 10 weeks. It's an at-home vaginal restoration device. And the vagina device uses three modes. It uses this red light therapy or photobiomodulation. It uses warmth. It'll get warm. It feels really good. And it uses vibration for Kegel toning. And it's an FDA class two device for vaginal restoration, primarily focused. The claim they can make is for reversal of incontinence. But one of the nice things that it does is the red light therapy. The red light stimulates the glycogen production of the cells of your vagina, your vaginal mucosal lining. It supports glycogen production and glycogen is what the good vaginal bacteria want to eat. So you pushing away vaginal dysbiosis, getting rid of odors and all of those kinds of things by feeding the good bacteria with the light and stimulating mitochondrial growth of the cells so that you thicken the tissue. So it works really well when you're doing estrogen replacement and red light therapy. It also does the warmth that re-collagenates that vaginal lining thickening it up? And the vibrations help with the pelvic floor musculature for reversal of incontinence. So this is a really nice at-home device. So you can add that in.

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So you've got your HRT, you've got your vagina device, you've got your nitric oxide supplementation. What if that's still not enough, because that's just intravaginal. What if your clitoris is shrinking, your labia are shrinking and the estrogen's not really reversing that because as you age, you know how as we age, we get little, we get small, we start to wrinkle up, you know, our grandparents are tinier than they used to be, so we see that we're gonna be tinier in the future. What you're trying to do is you're trying to regenerate that vulvar tissue. And there are three current modalities on the market. There's RF devices, there's lasers, and both of those are intra-vaginally go up inside the vagina and they basically burn the tissue. And so then it regrows and it's thicker. But the problem with those is that they burn, they hurt, you weep from your vagina and your eyes. And they say, it's in and out. You can come in and you get out an hour. And it's like, yeah, you, I come in and get out of your world in an hour, but my yoni hurts for days. And it doesn't do anything for the outer labia and the clitoral structures. And that's where our pleasure is. So the third option is shock wave or, and it has a bad name because it has a funny little name because it makes a little sound, but it doesn't hurt. It's also called acoustic wave. It's sound waves. And there are practitioners that you can go to that learn how to treat these genital structures with that acoustic wave. And the company that does this training is called GainsWave. If you've ever heard of that, it's fantastic. And the GainsWave devices are rubbed essentially all on the outside of the vulva, everywhere, all that tissue for reversing the incontinence, generating new tissue growth, removing the loss of lubrication and getting everything juicy again and getting that clitoral tissue to reconstitute. And when it does that, when it grows new tissue, it's cellular biogenesis, it's stimulating cellular biogenesis. And so what it's doing is it's growing new tissue, which grows new capillaries, which grows new nerve supply. So all of a sudden that vanishing clit has resurfaced and it's feeling good again and blood can get in there and expand it and send those pleasure signals to your brain.

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In addition to doing something like Gainswave treatment, and they've got a new acoustic wave device called the OmniWave, which is interesting because the practitioner can set the depth of it to get to exactly the locations that it needs to in the tissue to really do a precision level of tissue regeneration where you need it most. And we're always developing these great technologies. 

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Another technology that's kind of the cherry on top, started out the practitioners would use PRP, platelet rich plasma. Take it from our blood, put it in a centrifuge, spin off the red and white blood cells, take that fibrin rich matrix, that golden broth, and put it in a little syringe and inject it into that spongy tissue. For me personally, I had a tear in my entroidal sphincter. Many women have had episiotomies from birth or tearing from birth and that completely fixed, a problem that had bothered me for years and years and years. It can be put into the G-sponge, the perineal sponge, you know, everywhere. But now we're advancing beyond PRP and PRF to stem cells and exosomes. We have the ability to use umbilical cord blood to culture cells or harvest our own stem cells from our adipose tissue, culture it, keep it cryogenically frozen, and just we have our own line of our own biologics that we can have cultured and sent to our doctors where people like you, Brittany, can now be injecting our own biologics for growth factors and tissue stimulation and regeneration into our bodies. So we're doing our vampire face lifts and our hair lifts and now our O shots and our P shots and now we're moving into the next generation, which is even beyond exosomes into stem cell regenerative therapies for vaginal atrophy. And I don't even like to call it vaginal atrophy because vagina is just the inside. A lot of it is vulvar atrophy, not just vaginal atrophy. And so these are the kinds of things that we can be doing.

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And then the last thing that I think is very, very important to discuss is that just as we're kind of part of the clean beauty movement where we're now very aware of all of the chemicals that are in our hair care, our beauty products, our soaps, our cleaning supplies, and all of these kinds of things. Lubricants, sexual lubricants are an FDA class two governed category of consumer goods. They must have preservatives in them. And so when people say, lube should I use? I say, I wouldn't use a lube. I think lubes are terrible because they all, all top 30 brands of lubricants from every grocery store, CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Target, you name it. They all have preservatives in them. And I like to eat as clean as I can and use clean beauty products as best I can. I still color my hair, but I pick and choose my battles. And one of the battles that I choose is to not put anything in my vulva vaginal area that I wouldn't drink, eat. And so what I recommend is CBD based oils with, you know, just simple oils. Almond oil, avocado oil, jojoba, mango butter, any of those kinds of things. Add some essential oils if you want some fragrance and CBD because CBD works on the endocannabinoid receptors, which is our pleasure healing pathway. We have endocannabinoid CB1 and CB2 receptors all over our body and they are loaded in our genital structures. And when you use CBD, it's a very healing type of an experience. And what's interesting is that the benefits of that plant are legendary and one of the things that it does is it helps calm pain, helps lower anxiety and helps increase body sensations and pleasure.

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So more and more women are moving toward that kind of clean beauty for their genital structures as well. So that's kind of the panoply of different things that now you know, I've got to take care of my tissue, I have regenerative opportunities, I've got, you know, the ability to get the blood flowing again and I've got to give myself time, I've got to be patient with myself, I'm not, you know, insto-erecto-roboto, I am someone who needs to be calmed, held, stroked, touched, get massaged, kissing, breast play, yoni massage long before anything goes inside of me. And so I think when women hear, okay, I'm not broken. I can learn to have these orgasms. I just need to know the steps. There's nothing wrong with me, I thought it was me and it's not me. I think that's very calming for a lot of women. It's like removing all these limiting beliefs that were created by a masculine dominated society so that we can move into our kind of next round, the next life of our sexuality.

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Brittany Meeker (32:35)

I think there's so many myths about sex as we age and, you know, what comes to mind that are some common ones that you hear about? I mean, how can we ensure that intimacy remains fulfilling? And what action items can our viewers take to really be sure that they can get this addressed?

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Susan Bratton (33:08)

Well, one is to think about what feels, give yourself time to get turned on. Listen to your body and speak on her behalf and make sure your partner understands that they're doing nothing wrong, but that as a moon woman, you're very changeable and what you want today is gonna be different than what you wanted yesterday. Really carving out some time to relax together rather than thinking that this is something to be done not rushing to intercourse. Just because your husband has an erection does not mean you need to be penetrated like he can get hard go soft get hard go soft. He can get hard again. It's not gonna kill him. 

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And another thing, there's a couple of non-negotiables that I think I use that I find women tell me, that was really good to hear, I'm just stealing yours. And I'm like, steal away, mama, this is what I'm here for. One of them is that I won't rush myself. That sometimes even though I'm a sexpert and I have great sex and I know what all the systems and structures are, some days I'm like, man, it's taken you a long time to get there, girl. And sometimes I don't. And I don't...

I haven't, my husband is, he's fine. He's like, I don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do, babe. If you don't feel like it, let's just snuggle up and watch a show. It's fine. We give it a go, and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.

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The second thing is I don't do anything, I don't keep doing anything I'm not enjoying. So let's just say I'm making love, we're having intercourse, I've had a good time, but all of a sudden I'm like, I am done. Or maybe I just need a break. And I say, hey, I need to take a break. And we rest. And sometimes I'll say, okay, I'd like to keep going now. And I'd like to try this position or that position. Or I'd like to try oral pleasuring. Or I'd like to try a new toy or whatever it is. Being able to just speak your truth and not press on, it is not your job to give your partner an ejaculation. It's just not. He can do that himself and he is. He's doing it all the time. Men are driven to do that. They need to keep their semen topped up so it's basically like fresh, you know, so they can make their progeny. So it's, you just, if you need to take a break, stop. And if you don't want to start again, don't start again. And have him learn how to be fine with that. That is not, the expectations that we put on ourselves are too harsh. And then every time we have sex and we keep going, even though we're not enjoying it, and he's pumping away and we're like, oh God, I know I'm so done with this. Every time you do that, you're putting another brick in the wall of your future sexless marriage. And having a good sex span, it makes you live a longer, healthier, happier life. So you have to not do the stuff that's gonna make you not want sex. Another thing that I think is really important in not doing anything you don't want, stopping and taking breaks, seeing if you wanna go back to it or not or adjust or change.

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Another one is that, and not owing your partner an ejaculation, you don't. And not thinking that sex is just intercourse, expanding all of the things you're doing, learning to give and receive excellent oral pleasuring. When women tell me, I don't really like oral sex. And I say giving or receiving. Sometimes they say giving, sometimes they say receiving, sometimes they say both. Literally, if you don't enjoy it, you're not doing it right. It's incredibly pleasurable, incredibly orgasmic, incredibly enjoyable, incredibly connecting. And the thing is that you just need to learn some techniques, some skills. You need to know what you're going for and you need to gain confidence in it so that you can relax and surrender to the pleasure that it provides.

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You don't need to do anything. You need to just be present to the pleasure that you could create and have some ideas of how to do that. So practicing, trying things, and that really invigorates your sex life. So one of the things that I do is I have something called the sex life bucket list. Because if you just keep doing what you're gonna do, you're gonna get the same results. But if you try new things, you'll generate new relationship energy, you'll learn techniques together, you'll get better in bed together, your communication skills will get better, you'll have less guilt, you'll feel more empowered, you'll have more orgasms, you'll learn new orgasm techniques, everything will expand and your genitals will just keep feeling better and better, because they'll be getting that sexy exercise, that sexercise they need. And I put together something called my sex life bucket list. It's at sexlifebucketlist.com. It's a free download. And what I love about it is that it's essentially this printout. And I recommend that you literally print it out on your home computer or print it out at work and bring it home. Don't leave it on the printer at work. And what's nice about it is that it's a little printout that asks you to rank 48 different erotic play dates that I've created for couples. Now if you're not coupled and you still want to increment your sexuality, something like 34 of the 48 you can do for yourself without a partner. And you answer the questions. Some of them are yes or no, and then others are a rank, A, B, or C. A is, oh, I want this on my bucket list. I've been thinking about that, or we talked about it, we never did it, or we did it once and I liked it, let's do it again and get better. Bs are, if you want to do it, I will do it with you. It wouldn't go on my A list. But if you want to do it, I'll do it. Sure, I will do that with you. C's are, it's not for me right now. But as you evolve and mature and get more confidence and experience and communication skills and joy and pleasure and all of those things, you're going to look at some of those and go, now that's on my A list. I want to do that next. I didn't even think I wanted to do it. Now I'm fantasizing about it. So you get the download and you get a 40 minute video where I walk you through all of the 48 erotic play dates in kind of a fun and sexy way. And it's something you can feel very comfortable doing with your partner. There's nothing in there that's gonna be like, that was gross. Nothing like that at all. All like things that would be comfortable for you both to experience. And then you compare your A list with your partner's list if you have a partner, if you're lucky enough to have a partner. The first video is your first erotic playdate. That's your first playdate is coming up with your sex life bucket list. And then you get your bucket list, you merge your A's and then you say, okay, what do we, we wanna learn how to do yoni massage. So, you get your little vulva massager and your partner gives you a yoni massage or you decide you wanna find your G-spot and activate your G-spot, you know, or whatever it is. Then you start to look forward to doing these kinds of things together and you just get more comfortable. You get the new relationship energy going. You move from the grab a boob and stick it in, I'm not even ready and he's already eaten a sandwich, into oh my god my husband bought me this really great thing and I'm having a million orgasms with it and he's so turned on. He keeps texting me all day and telling me how hot I am.

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Brittany Meeker (40:45)

Such an empowering message for our viewers. And I think it's really important to keep in mind that aging doesn't mean intimacy is having to fade, right?

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Susan Bratton (40:55)

It means it gets better, because you get older and you know what you're doing.

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Brittany Meeker (40:59)

Absolutely, and I really feel like the biggest goal too with ThriveLab’s platform is connecting that for our patients and realizing that the confidence and the energy can continue to thrive in their relationships. And even too, when it comes to getting to root causes of hormone shifts, as you've mentioned, your journey with hormone therapy and the importance of incorporating that with your lifestyle, that there is a connection between healthy hormones and improved circulation and sexual responses. And so I'm curious when it comes to cardiovascular health and ways to boost blood flow, like exercises and foods, what comes to mind for those specific topics?

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Susan Bratton (41:30)

Yeah, so you wanna eat leafy green vegetables and beetroot, dill, cabbage, anything green, arugula, romaine, spinach, kale, you name it. All those have nitrates in them. Now we have nitrate depleted soil. So this is why I also recommend a nitric oxide booster. But you wanna eat those and you don't wanna use antibacterial mouthwash because it kills off the bacteria that converts the nitrates to nitrites. And then you don't wanna be on proton pump inhibitors, acid blockers, et cetera. You need to clean up your gut. You've got SIBO, you're eating too many carbs. You need to get the acid higher because the acid is what closes that little duo sphincter up here that keeps the stuff from coming up. So you gotta get off the acid blockers, because that kills off your nitric oxide production too. So you need your nitric oxide high and you can always add a supplement. The supplement that I like is called Flow, F-L-O-W. It's a food derived supplement. I prefer to take whole food oriented food derived supplements rather than lab synthesized supplements. This is citrulline from watermelon and nitrites from spinach. It's all organic materials. And it has believe it or not some pine bark tannins in it which are very good they're similar to cacao good for blood flow and some bitter cherry which has vitamin c for absorption for the citrulline and if you take these at night that's best but you can take them anytime you can definitely take them before lovemaking. And so taking a nitric oxide supplement along with eating more leafy greens is a good double combo.

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And then as far as exercise, high intensity interval training, anything that gets you pink in the face. When your cheeks get pink, that's when you're getting the vascularization. And that's what's so healthy actually about having orgasmic sex. And that's why if you're not having orgasmic sex, I want you to work on it because there's nothing wrong with you. You just didn't know, you never met somebody who teaches you how to do it till you met me. You just need to know what to do. It's literally like cooking. You just need the recipe, you need to cook it a couple times before it gets good. It's that easy. We overcomplicate things and sex is not hard. We just don't have the information that we need. So exercise, high intensity interval training is the way to go. Run up a couple of stairs, run up some hills, go out and do some rowing, ride your bike, take a yoga class. Let's just get that heart rate up and get that blood pumping. That's very, very important.

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Brittany Meeker (44:27)

You know, and I tell patients the importance of exercise. feel they think they have to do an hour of this sweat exhaustion seven days a week or it's not going to happen. And that's not the case. I mean, our bodies are meant to move, right? And how we get energy is making energy and getting more of it by moving our body, right? And I think when it comes to the holistic approach, right, when it comes to, you know, hormone therapy and balancing is getting that tailored for patients. But also I think it's important that patients are managing their stress like you mentioned, enjoying before intimacy and ridding these, these stresses in our lives that we're faced, whether it's social media and the kids and the marriage and all these things. That's another good aspect of our platform too, is getting life coaching involved and being sure that we're helping patients on all aspects of their care and not having these blinders on. So I feel like on your website as well, you have a lot of things for all different kinds of people and it's not so narrow focus and you can kind of find what you like, which is great to know. Outside of that, I'm wondering if patients who are wanting to prioritize exercise and stress management and sleep. I'm sure that's a biggie. What would you say? Are there certain steps they should take or, you know, they don't have good sleep or exercise or stress management. What's the biggest focus? What should be number one that they do for this?

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Susan Bratton (45:57)

It's hard to not overwhelm people. You have to find a coping mechanism for exercise. So whether that's an accountability partner or you wanna wear a Fitbit and quantify it and that motivates you or you're not gonna exercise unless you hire a personal trainer to do it with you and tell you everything, that's what I do. I have to have a trainer and I'm lucky enough that I have the income to be able to afford one. And I understand that not everyone can, but there are classes, there's group dynamic, there's heck you can just go walk with your husband, drag his butt out and get him walking too because he's sitting all day most likely as well. So I think that whatever that coping mechanism is that's gonna get you moving, the more that you, you set up Brittany, the more that you move, the more that you want to move. Once you, it's like priming the pump. It's the same with orgasms. The more orgasms you have, the more you want, the better they get. The more you have, the better they get. You know, it's just like this self-fulfilling upward pleasure spiral. And that's how exercise is. Once you get going, you're so glad you did because you actually have more energy. And I think that's important. One of the things that I've found that's worked really well for me is having an Oura ring for sleep. I did have to this year ask my husband to start sleeping in the second room because he's snoring and he gets to come back when he solves that snoring problem and I've offered to help him solve it but he you know it's you know how men are they just want to do it themselves on their own time and so I'm like please come back when you've got those muscles in your neck toned up so that you're not going all night long and waking me up because I love you dearly and you can stay in here until you fall asleep and then I got to elbow you out to send you on your way until you solve that problem like I can only do so much I can't, you know, this is what we can do for each other. And so I don't love it, but that's what it is because my sleep is so important to me and I love having the Oura ring. I don't wear it all day long. I just wear it at night, keep it by my bedside, throw it on at night. And it really motivates me to try to get into the nineties with my sleep scores. I darken my room and I go to bed early enough and I take a sleep gummy. I take a little five milligram THC sleep gummy, CBD THC and CBN, which is another aspect of that THC plant that is also very, very soporific and puts you to sleep. I also take a couple of grams of glycine every night and that helps me get even deeper and more REM sleep, which I like. So those are two things that I've been doing recently over the last maybe year or so. Maybe year and a half that have really got me from having sleep scores in the 60s and 70s to having sleep scores in the 80s and 90s. And I think that that's really important. So between trying to eat as whole food as you can, watching your clean ingredients, getting a good night's sleep, getting yourself out next to, that's like a full-time job right there doing all that stuff. And I know there are people who are watching us right now going, oh God, it must be nice to be her, I don't have time, money, energy for any of that shit. And I'm like, I know mama, I'm also 63, so I've got a little more time on my hands. My daughter's 27, I'm not raising babies anymore. I am running two companies and doing like 100 podcasts a year and speaking from stage and traveling around the world and writing books and creating programs. So, you know, I only have so much, so much sadness for anyone. You gotta do what you gotta do in your life. But those are maybe, maybe some of my perspectives and coping mechanisms can, you know, encourage you to also take care of yourself too. And of course you have to take care of your family because they don't do a very good job themselves of that either, do they?

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Brittany Meeker (49:47)

Right. We all have 24 hours in a day and what we do with each hour is up to us. And, you know, I've heard a lot about CBD and you've talked really highly of what it can do for intimacy. What about the psychedelic talk? You know, there's lots of different things out there about psychedelics and microdosing and how that can help with intimacy. What's your take on it?

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Susan Bratton (50:04)

Yeah, I mean I have experience with a large variety of those kinds of things. I'm a biohacker and I'm a sexual biohacker and I'm a longevity person and I'm a personal development person. So I'm dabbling in a lot of things, partly because I'm interested, partly because I need to be informed and partly because I like those kinds of things. But what I really think is that we're moving away from alcohol. And of course, helps us with lowering our inhibitions, but it's also a depressant. So many of us are drinking less. But trying things like Love Gummies more, Sex Bites and things like that. The sex bites, they are THC gummies with libido botanicals in them. And what I like about that is that you can start with a quarter, move up to a half, but they take a little longer, 45 minutes or so, an hour or so to kick in, so you have to plan ahead. But for us women, we're good at planning ahead. We kind of know where we're going. We're looking ahead. We're looking out. We are always out there with that reticular activation system. So if we think we want something like that, one of the things I found about that is when I take those, the sex bites, I really get very lubricated. The libido botanicals really lubricate me, which I love, and they really get me in my body and I'm very sensual with them. The eating the gummies, the edible is even more body based and sensual. And you can combine them. Just be careful, don't do too much, work your way up to things. And what's interesting about the libido botanicals in the gummies is that they're actually, they're cooked, they're warm, they're heated. And so there's something very activating about them, where if you had just taken like libido powders or capsules without that, it doesn't have that same effect where you get that real trailing. And for the stamina ones, it really helps with erectile function for your male body partner. So very interesting new things. It's not just the sensuality, it's actually the, what are you feeling? What are you feeling? How did you like that? What's your experience? You're having a new experience, you're having erotic adventures together. And because there's these three different things and you can try them all separately and then you can see if you wanna combine them together or maybe go up a little bit or down a little bit with them, you're playing, you're having body experiences with your partner or yourself. So is it gonna hurt you? No. Is it bad for you? No. Is it addictive? No. Is it healthier than alcohol? Yes. How do I feel about mushrooms, LSD, ecstasy, 5-MeO, DMT, ketamine, blah, blah, blah? I mean, that's some big guns right there. You gotta know what you're doing, you gotta be careful. They're hallucinogenic, they're very, very strong and powerful, and one should tread lightly on them, not that people aren't doing them like crazy now, they are. It's a big trend. But start with the doable easy, the doable chewables and things like that.

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Brittany Meeker (53:46)

I love that. I think the consistency is a little bit more ideal with everyday life and needs to get done that that is a little bit more than ideal route. I really appreciate your expertise on this. For listeners, where can they dig in more with your content? You've shared some websites, you've shared some ways that we can kind of follow you, but you've mentioned podcasts and books, and when it comes to sexual health and intimacy, where can they just kind of dive in on all that?

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Susan Bratton (54:17)

I'd say the portal into my universe is at betterlover.com. I send out a newsletter two days a week. I think it's Wednesdays and Fridays, you get a newsletter from me. And it always starts off with a passionate lovemaking technique or a bedroom communication skill. And then it always gives you something new to try. That's the erotic adventure piece of things. And then within the newsletter, you'll find orgasm things, sexual regenerative therapy, new news and information. So there's like a little bit of everything in there. It's really fun, it's skimmable, and it's shareable with your partner. So betterlover.com is definitely if you like, if you're still here and you're still listening to me, thank you. And that's where there's more Susan.

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Brittany Meeker (55:03)

Susan, wow, thank you so, so much. I know I've learned so much from you. I can't even imagine our viewers. I think it's a peace of mind, especially for our audience to know there's nothing wrong with them. We function differently, men and women, and it's good that we have a voice and we don't have this persona on what the movies show or the social media shows that it's what matters in our voice and speaking that truth and knowing that there's resources out there and definitely help out there, especially on your website. And also for viewers too, I mean, ThriveLab's here to support your health journey and personalized tailored care. So visit ThriveLab.com, talk with the provider, we're all over the US and take that first step towards thriving when it comes to intimacy and sexual health. Susan, thank you so much.

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Susan Bratton (55:40)

Brittany, it was really a pleasure. I'm pleased to be a part of Thrivelabs and to just help women and their partners have more hope that there's so much pleasure ahead.

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Brittany Meeker (56:07)

Thank you.

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